I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
