Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
