i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I party with great urgency now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
