mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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