btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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