Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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