i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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