i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Boobs are out for the taking
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
