Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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