How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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