As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
there is glitter all over my balls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
