So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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