Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
