ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
