making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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