she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
