We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
