he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
