apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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