Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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