Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize