We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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