addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
