I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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