Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
