Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sponge bath it is.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
