no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize