he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
