omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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