Me. At least after what I've been through.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize