Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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