The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
ttyl tear gas
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
