I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think I won the penis lottery.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
