If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
