NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
