Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
