girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
