why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
