He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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