Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
