I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
