so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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