lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
