I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
