Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This is my gift to your gina
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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