he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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