i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
