it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
