I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
