Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
