I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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