You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
