Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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