You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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