He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
