Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
