dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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