ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
