I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
