The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
