How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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