i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
