Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
