hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
