I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
