I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
