Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Randomize