Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
