Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
