Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Someone shattered a urinal.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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