Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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