her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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