ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
two words...techno handjob
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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