I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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